FlatBirthers

Last Updated: March 27, 2025

WELCOME TO THE TRUTH ABOUT PRIVACY

At FlatBirthers.us (“we,” “us,” “the Awakened”), we take your privacy as seriously as we take our mission to expose the birth conspiracy. This Privacy Policy explains how we collect, use, share, and supposedly “protect” your information when you visit FlatBirthers.us (the “Website”) and use our services, while simultaneously helping you understand that privacy itself is just another government construct designed to make you believe you have “personal information” that needs “protecting.”

1. INFORMATION WE COLLECT

1.1 Information You Voluntarily Provide to Us

When you register for our Awakened Members Area, subscribe to our Truth Newsletters, purchase our Deprogramming Packages, or contact us, we collect the following types of information:

  • Your name (or what you’ve been programmed to believe is your “name”)
  • Email address (your digital tracking number)
  • Mailing address (your assigned storage facility location)
  • Phone number (your personal surveillance device code)
  • Credit card information (your economic control digits)
  • Your alleged “date of birth” (your fabricated origin timestamp)
  • Photos of your “birth certificate” (your government activation license)

1.2 Information We Automatically Collect

When you visit our Website, our truth-seeking algorithms automatically collect:

  • IP address (your internet tracking code)
  • Browser type and version (your digital perception filter settings)
  • Operating system (your reality interface program)
  • Referral source (how you found the path to awakening)
  • Time spent on pages (your truth absorption metrics)
  • Clicks, scrolls, and mouse movements (your physical reaction to truth)

We use cookies, web beacons, and other tracking technologies to gather this information, just like the government uses hospitals to track your alleged “birth.”

2. HOW WE USE YOUR INFORMATION

We use the information we collect for these purposes:

  • To provide you with premium conspiracy content and services
  • To process your payments for Truth Packages and Awakening Merchandise
  • To send you our newsletters, “The Umbilical Truth” and “Weekly Womb Whispers”
  • To notify you about updates to our theories and new evidence
  • To improve our Website’s ability to spread enlightenment
  • To analyze user behavior and optimize truth delivery
  • To contact you about exclusive awakening opportunities

3. INFORMATION SHARING AND DISCLOSURE

3.1 We Share Your Information With:

  • Our affiliated truth organizations (The Flat Earth Society, Birds Aren’t Real, etc.)
  • Service providers who help us operate our Website and process payments
  • Legal authorities if required by law (though we question their legitimacy)
  • Marketing partners who offer complementary conspiracy merchandise

3.2 We Do NOT Share Your Information With:

  • The Birth-Industrial Complex
  • Hospital administrators
  • Mainstream “scientists”
  • Government birth registrars
  • Anyone who still believes in “natural childbirth”

4. YOUR RIGHTS AND CHOICES

You have certain rights regarding your information:

  • You can unsubscribe from our emails by clicking the “Unsubscribe” link (though doing so may reactivate your birth programming)
  • You can request access to your personal information (though what you consider “personal” is debatable)
  • You can ask us to delete your account (though your digital footprint is eternal, just like the truth)
  • You can opt-out of cookies (though this may limit your ability to see the full truth)

5. DATA SECURITY

We implement reasonable security measures to protect your information from unauthorized access, despite knowing that true security is impossible in a world controlled by the birth agenda. Our security practices include:

  • Encryption of sensitive information (using algorithms that challenge hospital encryption)
  • Regular security assessments (to detect birth-agenda infiltration)
  • Limited access to personal information (only our most awakened team members)
  • Secure servers (located far from known hospital facilities)

However, no method of transmission over the Internet or electronic storage is 100% secure, just as no birth story is 100% accurate.

6. CHILDREN’S PRIVACY

Our Website is not directed to individuals under the age of 13, as children are still too close to their alleged “birth” and heavily influenced by their supposed “parents.” We do not knowingly collect information from children under 13. If we discover that a child under 13 has provided us with personal information, we will promptly delete it.

7. INTERNATIONAL USERS

If you access our Website from outside the United States, you acknowledge that your information may be transferred to, stored, and processed in the United States, where the birth conspiracy originated and maintains its strongest hold.

8. CHANGES TO THIS PRIVACY POLICY

We may update this Privacy Policy from time to time to reflect changes in our practices or for other operational, legal, or regulatory reasons. The date at the top of the Privacy Policy indicates when it was last updated. Your continued use of the Website after any modifications indicates your acceptance of the updated Privacy Policy.

9. CONTACT US

If you have questions or concerns about this Privacy Policy or our privacy practices, please contact us at:

Email: truth@flatbirthers.us
Mail: FlatBirthers Truth Center, P.O. Box 404, Reality Denial, NV 89404

10. SPECIAL NOTE ABOUT “BIRTH” CERTIFICATES

If you choose to upload your “birth certificate” as part of our verification process, you acknowledge that this document is a government control instrument and by sharing it with us, you are taking the first step toward deprogramming. We will analyze its watermarks, typography, and encoded messages to help you understand your true origins.